Tuesday, 12 August 2008

Stupid Daddy

My offspring has been given many different nicknames, and been called, many different things since his arrival.

It has taken all my might to resist swearing around him, or at him, since this time too.

I have a foul mouth, or did have.

I used to be very comfortable with swearing and enjoyed doing so, in the main.

OK, they also help to shroud a limited vocabulary, and save wasting valuable brain juice seeking a more acceptable, and suitable phrase.

But there is something about others cringing at words, that tickles a happy place in my brain.

I know, I’m not a nice person.

But now, to avoid repetition and embarrassing incidents, instead of using words that have been rendered taboo, I have adopted an approach of using alternative words, rather than attempt to resist saying anything at all.

Monkey, or its plural, are very good words.

Used correctly these words can be incredibly useful time savers and censors.

They can also be applied to many situations and scenarios, much as one of my very favourite swear words can.

Oh, Monkeys.


Don’t give me any of that Monkies.

Just as little examples, and clues to the swear word they replace.

Now with child though, I’m getting terribly prudish, don’t worry, I’m not about to join any Mary Whitehouse fan club, and can still mix in the odd, yet still crude, curse.

But I’m even concerning myself with language that really isn’t foul.

Max has been saying stupid a lot, and I don’t like it.

It is a horrible word, and much more offensive than the stuff I like to jest with, as, I suppose, fired in the right direction it can actually be true, and thus really cringe-worthy.

For now I’m explaining why I don’t like it, but not making a huge deal. I figure he will just say this, and other things I object to more.

And sometimes it still is actually quite funny, and at moments bang-on.

Excluding ‘stupid daddy’, that is incorrect of course; I have GCSEs and everything that say different.

Others seem to side with junior, and have rather cruelly said I can’t really chastise him for his accuracy.

Stupid Monkeys.


Xbox4NappyRash said...

'Stupid' is one of those words we use all the time as, but just sounds horrible coming from a child.

Single Parent Dad said...

Definitely right Xbox. It's even in some of Max's more grown up bed time reads. I find myself replacing it with 'silly' when reading with him. Much less offensive.

Elfie33 said...

Ok, I'm jumping out of lurk mode once again. My son at Kindergarden age started saying the same thing. I asked him one day. Do you like being called stupid? He said no. So I said well if you don't like it do you think someone else does? He said no. So I suggested...lets not call people that anymore ok...and it worked. I told him nobody likes to feel bad. At that age it worked. He's 22 now...taller than me and likes to pat me on the head and say "whatever, Mom"..so the moral to this long tale is...teach them while their little and appreciate it...when they get bigger they are annoying..*laughs*

Kori said...

I can and so surse with the best of them-something utlimately satisfying about the shocked looks coming from people who wouldn't believe that beneath the placid, sweet exterior exists a sailor. But not around the kids. And I agree-stupid is a TERRIBLE one, and another one is "hate." Yeah-both of those warrant the bar of the soap in mouths at our house. silly is a good substitute, and one I use as well. i like your use of "Monkeys," but am coming to rely more and more on the old fashioned ones like, "Fiddlesticks" and "For Pete's Sake." Mostly because the kids think I am funny when I do.

Single Parent Dad said...

Hi Elfie, that's a top tip, I look forward to using it.

Kori, I've taken to, and Max mimics, oh bother.

lorijurek@hotmail.com said...

My kids used to gasp when they heard it and tell their friends "stupid is a swear word at my house". I challenged them to find another word that could express how they felt about something. Our other "bad" words in our home? Hate & Bored.

Single Parent Dad said...

I like what you've instilled there lorijurek. Will have to see if I can match that.

Post a Comment