Wednesday, 6 August 2008

What Happens Next?

I’ve always thought, while I have the temperament to handle most situations well, that children would be the greatest challenge.

Children post toddlerdom most specifically.

It has concerned me how good a parent I will be to my child once he starts school and actually gets past the very innocent years.

I’ve always found children after this age testing. I mean they really do answer back, and might actually win a fist-fight.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been getting more practice in with the next generation and have been trying to glean what I can from their parents.

You can’t be too prepared, too soon, in my manual.

Anyhow, it appears that if you have a fridge freezer that dispenses ice cubes on demand, you are on to a good start with most six year olds.

Once I’m in the zone of being a fun parent or adult, I do tend to over-elaborate, use difficult language and dig big holes for the kids to deepen.

I’m of a mind to try and explain things and put answers to questions. Sometimes making them up for comedy purposes or to mask my ignorance.

Some of the questions they come up with are brilliant, and are things we did, at one time, know the answer to.

Why is the sky blue?

I was banging on about refraction, which I immediately realised isn’t easy to explain to a young child, nor them understand, plus my answer was wrong anyway.

Then this week we’ve had Max’s virtual cousins over for dinner, I say virtual as they are my brother-in-law’s step kids, and I’m not sure when it is appropriate to adopt full-pretend cousin status.

We had a great time, but I got a bit fed up of them constantly asking for me, thus I thought I would try to be clever, which is never a good idea.

I instructed them that I was no longer responding to my first name and that I was to be referred to as Cornelius Farquharson.

And nothing other than a full and correct pronunciation would get my attention.

Sadly my theorem - that they would find this difficult and give up, was fatally flawed.

They were now just laughing trying to pronounce my new name, which to be fair to them they persisted with.

Max thought this whole episode was hilarious.

For my trouble I even got a picture with my new name on, phonetically spelt, very well I thought.

So impressed I was, it now has pride of place on our magic ice making machine.

And I’ve committed the whole affair to memory, and if I was inclined to manufacture a set of works instructions for six to ten year olds, I would be citing this as reference.

Good or bad, I’m not sure. Share/Save/Bookmark

16 comments:

Kori said...

Definitly good; I would reference it. And I don't have an ince maker in my fridge, does that mean I am no longer a fun or cool parent? Oh, wait, I never HAVE been.... :)

Single Parent Dad said...

Ah yes Kori, but being popular because of a fridge freezer will last about, well, it has probably already worn off.

Kate said...

That's hilarious, Mr. Farquharson. :)

Single Parent Dad said...

He He Kate. I know several kidlings that agree!

Hawkfeather said...

i have found it is more fun that i had anticipated- these kidz growing up...
something that comes with a child aging- that I had not realized I would appreciate.. is the reminder you have done well.

Seeing your kids develop into growing - thriving- humans that actually participate with the world around us- (for me anyway) has shown me I have done a good job as a momma.
takes some of the fear out of it.

Working mum said...

Thanks for popping in to my blog!

I've been reading some of your posts to get up to speed on your story. My sincerest sympathy on losing your wife, hopefully your son goes some way to providing a light in your life. He sounds great fun!

Good to have a 'dad' blog to add to my list. May get a different perspective on things ....

Will be back
WM x

Single Parent Dad said...

I look forward to it Hawkfeather.

Hi Working Mum, and thank you for your comments. I enjoyed my little jaunt over earlier. I hope you enjoy reading my stuff.

Tismee2 said...

Where on earth did Cornelius Farquarson or whatever it is come from?

That's a good idea, perhaps I will try that one next time the ice making fridge freezer wears thin. I'm thinking Philomena Postlethwaite.

Single Parent Dad said...

I'm not sure Tismee. It just came to me. Good luck with Philomena

GoneBackSouth said...

Hi Ian. I've been reading some of your older posts - great to read about your adventures with your little boy, sad to hear about your huge loss. I'm not a single parent, but I do spend a lot of time parenting alone. I wish you well.

TW said...

Haha, you wait until Max is four. Four year olds are dynamite for questions. That's all ours seem to do (or have done) all day - ask questions.

Elfie33 said...

Fist time to comment on your blog..(lurker not stalker, I promise)...but I had to smile today reading your blog about asking questions..."Why is the sky blue"..ect. When my son was that age he would do ask tons of questions, usually on the way home when I was tired and pretty brain dead...one particular day..he asked question after question and my brain just couldn't take anymore...so I told him. The sky was blue..."just because"..and he was fine....now cut to a few weeks later and we're going home again and again with the questions..and he asked me one that I couldn't answer right away. I was thinking about it...and he goes..."Mom is it one of those just because answers"....and I said yes it sure was. I know a randow memory...but your blog had me remembering and made me smile..

Single Parent Dad said...

Thanks Gonebacksouth, glad you can emphasise with our position. Hope you continue to enjoy reading this blog.

TW - Welcome, and I look forward to the inquisition.

Single Parent Dad said...

Hi Elfie, you disapoint me, I've never had a stalker.

I did revert to because it's not red at one point, and that seemed to work. Will have to try and stick if the - it just is - tactic, and see if it sticks.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Funny, love the wee picture too.

I reckon you'll spend the next 15 years just trying to stay ahead of him...

Single Parent Dad said...

Next 15 Xbox, my dad is still trying to stay in front of me!

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