Friday, 22 August 2008

Why Did I Just Do That?

I still share the odd tender moment with my late wife.

It is at these times that I know she will always be with me, no matter what changes there are to come in the future.

Samantha always made me want to be a better man, a la Jack Nicholson, and she still influences me now.

I find it amazing how much I was actually listening to, she would argue subliminally, as I can do listening without looking like it, to an olympic standard.

Lists were a massive part of her, and subsequently our lives.

My to-do one was ever growing and we would refer back to previous lists, for repeating events.

I’ve taken to relying on them myself.

Very useful for Max’s recent trip away.

She would have a good giggle at that.

Another principle was around money, more specifically budgeting, allocating our monies to our priority items.

We were both very good with our cash.

It would go a long way, we’d enjoy ourselves but still have enough for tomorrow.

But our principles were still a little different.

If I’d allocated an amount, but found a more cost effective, yet still acceptable solution, I would save the money and add it to the tomorrow fund.

Sam would use the extra saved to buy more of the thing bought – like a second pair of shoes - or immediately spend it on something else she so desired – like a matching bag.

We never argued about it, I found it charming actually, and if it made her happy and the numbers still added up, then why would we?

She would actually have more of an issue with me for not spending enough on myself, or just thinking I’d like something I could really afford, rather than just getting it.

Something else I loved about her.

Then last week we, me and child, were food shopping.

Max had been a good boy so towards the end of our trolley dash I took him to the toy aisle.

He predictably went straight for the Ben 10 stuff and picked up some god awful looking thing, but at an acceptable price.

But further down the shelves he found some Harry Potter stuff, which had been reduced. I'm sure JK won't be fretting too much.

“Can I have Harry Potter instead dad?” He enquired.

After quickly noticing the prices were down to a third of the Ben 10 figure, I said “You can son, and if you like you can get Ron and Hermione too.”

Right out of Samantha’s fiscal policy.

A ridiculously innocuous moment, but a lovely one, for all three of us, as it happens.


Dan said...

That's a nice story. The ripples your wife left will never leave you and your son.

And by the way, Ben 10 is fantastic. I can't wait until Evan is old enough to be into stuff like that. All Amy likes is bloody my little pony and the like.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I like what Dan said, 'the ripples'.

Very apt.

(Frankly, to get to play with all that stuff is the only reason we're trying.)

Sully Sullivan said...

What a fantastic thing to read this morning. Woke my brain right up.

I found I did similar things after I lost my grandfather (my parents had me really young so he was more like a father to me). After he passed away, things I would do would reflect what he would have done.

I think in the death of a loved one you really acknowledge the things you didn't absorb as much when they were still around and realize the many amazing aspects of their personality.

Or maybe it's that we mimic them in order to still feel close to them.

Either way, I really liked this post.

Kori said...

wiping tears away-and either I am getting too old and soft-hearted to be reading stuff like this anymore, or you just got me on a good day. This is lovely, and I have a friend who died just over three years ago who still and always will influence me for the good.

Baggage said...

I just found your blog..that entry made me cry. I'm going to read more.

Tismee2 said...

When I saw the shopping trolley I thought you were going to admit to doing that riding on the back thing that only men and young kids do! But I was wrong - or was I? Seems that there is a lot of samantha inside both of you.
I love your posts.

Single Parent Dad said...

Dan - My little pony is rank versus Ben 10, but give me Trumpton anytime

Xbox - He's often right isn't he?

Sully - Cheers, glad it triggered happy memories for you.

Kori - Please to read it, not the tears, my apologies.

Baggage - Welcome and see above;-)

Tismee - What a lovely comment. And as it happens, I got an official warning from IKEA during my student job days for mistaking their flat bed trolleys for play things. How very intuitive.

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