Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Checkpoint 3.5

I recently received a letter from the community health visitor, who is charged with the welfare of all the pre-schoolers in the area.

‘Welcome to the area’ it read, ‘we learn that you have just moved here’

Well no, we’ve been under your jurisdiction for more like 15 months, but I’m not going to pick hairs.

I actually quite like the fact we’d escaped the system for a while, I’d prefer a world where I was more accountable for my child, on all aspects of his life.

It is my great belief that the increasing rules, regulations, initiatives and overall reliance on others, have a negative impact on parenting.

Perhaps they should set up a league table to disprove that.

What I mean is, the government or state implies by its action that it is accountable for the country's children, rather than the people from which they were spawned, or those that have taken parental responsibility for them.

That is probably too simple an analogy, but one effect of unnessary support is growing reliance upon it.

There was a case quite recently where a child starved to death, which was of course the government's fault, according to the absent father.

Again, a bad example and an extreme, and yes the state, or more appropriately in this case, the police, should have powers of intervention. A crime was being committed, not bad parenting.

I hate this finger-pointing blame culture, and I also dislike those that call for new rules and protocols for the masses after the latest virtually random child tragedy.

I’ll get off my box in a bit, promise.

But now I learn that the national guidelines I talked about with my child’s nursery staff last term, have actually come into place.

We have gone far enough with the nanny state nonsence.

Targets for toddlers, regular mandatory reports on progress?

Give me a break.

Guess what?


If I parent with my eyes and ears open I can actually see for myself if my son can draw faces on walls, wipe his backside with his own fair hand or has expanded his vocabulary to include swear words.

It’s not even a legal requirement in this country for children to be receiving any form of formal education before their fifth birthday, it is parents’ choice.

Something doesn’t add up here.

I hope it’s not my son, he’ll be in trouble with the power brokers.

Anyway, after a successful three-and-a-half-year old check, which, quite frankly I could have lied my way through. (I know some parents do, that’s another post when I get my box out again!)

I get another letter from the same place, welcoming me to the area and giving me a proposed date for a three-and-half-year check!

Seriously guys, leave us to it.

We know what we are doing.

And if we don’t it is our problem to sort that out.

Be assured we’ll call you if we need your help.

Much, much, much, better system, and cheaper you’ll be pleased to know.



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Xbox4NappyRash said...

What's the comment equivalent of an applause?

Being stuck where I am, I get my daily news from BBC, which naturally is UK focussed. I cringe every time theres another white paper, or initiative, or set of guidelines for thing that are simply common sense.

Kori said...

Becuase I really need one more thing to rant about. please. I am not at all familiar with your rules and such, but I know here that the worst possible cases get unnoticed or ignored, and normal, everyday parents who are doing the best they can with NO HELP OR SUPPORT FROM THE GODDAMNED GOVERNMENT get shafted. Just saying. And to filter this through my own experiences, which I tend to do, I am a single mother of four kids; two fathers are noticably absent, I get NO financial help from anyone, I am not eligible for legal aid or cousnseling for myself to learn how to parent these kind 100% ON MY OWN, yet you can bet (and this is true, I promise) that the very second there is a hint of trouble in the wind, be it a fialing grade or a fight at school, it is automatically assumed that it is because I am a single parent. I get called in, I have to make explanations, and all is always-ALWAYS-found to be well-yet literally two blocks from me there lives a drug dealer with a toddler child who has been seen roaming the streets in a dirty diaper, crying. The government can't do anything about it because there is no just cause and criminals have rights. Oh. Sorry. your blog post. Not mine. I tend to do that. My point? I am with XBOX, totally applauding you; you are "spot on." Did I say that right?

Penelope said...

[Insert standing ovation]
Bloody well said!
I'm afraid I did the "lying to the health visitor" thing when my son was 3. It was nothing important, he still liked a bottle of milk to take to bed at night. So what? he slept 12 hours a night from 5 weeks old, I wasn't about to do anything to buggar that up and I knew I would get a lecture. Some stuff is just best left to the parents indeed.

Single Parent Dad said...

Cheers XBox, it drives me saft. I think I'm becoming a right wing liberal if there was such a thing.

Kori sounds about right, or wrong actually! One of my fears has always been that the minute there is a problem with my son, it will be because he's being raised by a single man. Strangely I've never been lectured twice.

Exactly Penelope. But I actually quite like being lectured by health visitors, peacefully listening to what they have to say, pausing, then ripping back into them, questioning what they say, and checking that their knowledge is up where it should be.

dadshouse said...

Wow, they really check up on parents like that? We have it easy here in California. We are required to show evidence of immunity shots when the kids enter school, but not much more than that.

Ms. Single Mama said...

Craziness! Loved getting a taste of what your system is like.

And that's funny they require proof of vaccinations in CA, Dad's House. In my state you don't need proof. More liberal about it here because so many parents are choosing not to have their kids vaccinated.

Single Parent Dad said...

dadshouse - Yes they do. I quite fancy a future in California. San Diego is one of my favourite places ever visited. I'm going to see if Max shows any baseball apptitude, I could do his negotiations with The Padres, from the beach.

Ms Single Mama - Thanks for your comment, and for a further insight into the British system, the Govt is currently looking at ways to increase vaccinations, they fear a measles epidemic due to some parents not getting the kids the right shots.

underthebigbluesky said...

Wow, Penelope, I can't believe you have to worry about lying about that stuff.

If I had to follow the recommendation made here, I would be in sorry trouble, thankfully they are not upheld.

Here in Maryland, we can either show proof of vaccination or make a written statement we are refusing.

Are vaccinations such a hot topic over there? Here it is totally getting a lot of press and more and more parents area opting out.

Unfortunately Kori is right, the good old U.S. of A, is not so concerned with the welfare of our children, sorry to say. There are agencies and some great non-profits, but it's not enough,

Our government would rather piss off the whole world...,oops, that's my box, sorry.

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