Friday, 17 October 2008

How Do You Do It?

I’ve been asked a few times recently about how I parent.

It’s a very difficult question to answer in any great detail.

The short version is of course very easy.

I parent the way I’m built to.

My way, or the highway sister.

These questions have come as a great compliment really.

Several of the regular playground moms have asked me how I get Max to listen to me, and be so adorable.

I firstly was amazed that they think he does listen to me, I sure don’t get that impression all the time.

And as for adorable, it can’t be genetic.

See, after nursery, and generally while some of the kids wait for their older brothers and sisters to come out from school – they finish 15 minutes later – the younger ones play around.

There is a trail thing they are allowed to use until the older ones come out.

And not a minute more I might add.

Max is often the ring leader, he’s one of the bigger little‘uns, and he is confident across all the challenges that this adventure equipment poses.

Now I was under the impression that Max was no worse and certainly no better behaved than his peers that use this equipment.

I do have to intervene sometimes, tell him to go the right way, stop pressurising the kid in front – that sort of thing.

But no.

He was going home with one of his friends, for dinner at their house, something both he and I love him doing.

The family he was going to be eating with are great.

A real lovely bunch.

We’re getting on really well.

When I went to pick Max up, I was told how good he had been, and how a couple of the other moms had commented on his behaviour in the playground.

Sharp intake of atmosphere moment.

But, it was all good, back-handed compliments.

When drawing up our parenting blue-print many moons ago, we devised a scheme that had an objective, amongst others, that we could take our child anywhere.

I didn’t really understand it at the time, I mean, if you’ve got a car seat and a passport the world is that way man.

I get it totally now.

And I think I’m actually putting that part of the plan into action.

For this week anyway.


The Grocer said...

We used to get those comments about Stumpy all the time. I hope you can continue in the same vein. We are finding that as he asserts his independance and tests the boundaries (he's six now) that his behaviour is more challenging.

Angela said...

My daughter is 6 now and doing sleepovers occasionally with her friends whose parents I know and trust. I get wonderful compliments on Anya's manners and hear that she's great to have around. [huge, proud smiles from me!]

It makes you feel like you're doing something right as a parent when other people rave about your child's behavior. Whether it just happens to be the kid's nature or due to some super parenting skills you may or may not have known you had, it's always a great feeling. Sounds like you're doing a great job!

Kori said...

My problems with my kids are at home, RARELY in public. People love to go places with my kids-other adults!-and there are several houses per each child where they are welcome ANYTIME. And I think it is simply because they have been everywhere with me, in lots of different situations and with alot of different people and it goves them a real handle on the way the world works. you are doing the right good thing!

Single Parent Dad said...

The Grocer - Pleased to hear it, not pleased to hear about my probable future.

Angela - Fantastic and yes it does feel nice.

Kori - Mine too. We can have some right ding-dongs at home, but his behaviour in the care of (relative) strangers, so far, has been quality.

Mama Nabi said...

Little ones are sponges. Cliche, yes. But they are. So sometimes, they surprise you because you realize that they have been watching you, learning your steps and imitating how you treat the world... And so compliments for your little angel are also compliments about what a marvelous human being you are.

I value compliments from fellow parents - more so than "constructive criticisms" from non-parents... because I think as adults we sometimes forget that kids are not misbehaving, that they are just exercising their curiosity, just the way they are meant to do.

You are the best parenting book there is, for being who you are.

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