Sunday, 26 October 2008

Making The Most Of It

I have always been a big fan of just getting on with it.

Moping is not sexy. And languishing is a better word for it.

This is not just an attitude borne out of my wife’s passing; it has always been part of my persona.

My family might argue, but I don’t even think I was that sulky in my youth. Sure, I was horrible, but not one to brood about perceived wrong doings for very long.

It is my belief that this attitude has helped me immeasurably to deal with grief, accept loss, and move forward.

Everyone is different, and will deal with their hand as they see fit.

While that is the case it doesn’t stop me observing others, and how they are dealing with their respective losses.

Always looking to learn.

There are those whose behaviour seems completely alien to me, but I suppose, so are their lives. They live in the world of sports and showbiz.

A couple of years ago now, one of Europe’s top golfers lost his wife after a long battle with cancer.

In the aftermath he played a very big part in The Ryder Cup. Winning plaudits for his attitude, and very participation, as well as his outstanding golf.

While I can not really relate to that, I can understand why he might have put himself in that situation. Very few people ever get that opportunity, and it would have given him great focus and been a distraction for the few days that it lasted.

He continues to be a professional golfer, a great career, and something he must love doing and give him real satisfaction.

I remember thinking, and still do to this day, that no amount of money or fulfilment could make being apart from my child worthwhile.

How much money does one need? What does it mean if that is all you have?

But that wasn’t really an option for me anyhow.

Then last night I watched The X Factor, the annual Simon Cowell cash-cow search.

I’ve not always been a big fan of the live shows, or the early performances, as there is often a clear difference in the calibre of the ‘artistes’.

This year the standard is very high, which sadly, for a fellow widower, means his appearance is going to end in tears, and not the good ones.

He is an okay singer compared to the competition, world-class compared to me, but he has made it this far in a weak category, and is certain to make an early exit.

His exit hurried if not for his compelling story.

Last night he was in the sing off, and his emotional rendition of Josh Groban’s ‘To Where You Are’ dedicated to his late wife, made it virtually impossible for the judges to send him home.

Although it may have been a fitting end to his journey.

It actually made me feel uncomfortable watching it.

And I fear that when it does end, it won’t be with the dignity that this guy so clearly deserves.

For me showbiz and grief are not the best combination. But it isn’t like a lot sits nicely with grief.

It is crossing a line that really need not be journeyed over.

I sincerely hope his time in the spotlight has a positive long-term effect on his life. Share/Save/Bookmark


Eddie 2-Sox said...

Noel Gallagher was on the money when talking about The X Factor. He said something like:

"It's Best Sob Story Factor. Whoever has the saddest story wins. Next up is Tracey from Doncaster, who is dedicating her art to her late cat Tiddles. Tiddles was with me every step of the way, and helped me through the good and bad tonight, I'm singing What's New Pussycat, this one's for you Tiddles....."

And he's right.

The Grocer said...

There's almost a sense that contestants are "creating" their own myth now to ensure they have a story to tell. Perhaps they see it as part fo a means to an end or perhaps its the programme makers looking for "human interest" to keep audience figures.

Single Parent Dad said...

Eddie - It is definitely getting like that, I remember seeing some of the auditions when the judges openly talked about people having a 'good story'

The Grocer - I'm sure if you turn up and insist that your story remains untold, you wouldn't get very far, no matter how good you are.

single mom seeking said...

"Moping is not sexy."

Brilliant! I think you've got a book title on your hands.

Single Parent Dad said...

Single Mom Seeking - Nice one, now the easy part!

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