Wednesday, 29 October 2008

A Yes For Me, And A No For Him

I shall be going to my second wedding of 2008 this weekend.

And for the second time this year, I shall be going without Junior.

Well actually, the wedding earlier this year, he was a pageboy, but I arranged for him to leave, for much more interesting pastures, as soon as the formalities of the wedding and the photos were done.

My theorem is that for a formal wedding setting, lengthy service in church, posing for photos for a good while, a nice meal, that lasts a couple of hours, followed by another couple of speeches, where you should remain quiet, laugh, and applaud at the correct points, small children won’t really be queuing up to do all or any of that.

And if Max isn’t going to enjoy himself, that also means my time will be far from joyous.

I can remember, when planning our own wedding, that the point of involving children was, or is, a contentious one.

Not something I’d really thought about, as I’d never needed to, and I wasn’t too bothered about people being offended or choosing not to attend based on whether we chose to cater for, or invited children.

I’m more sympathetic now, and it has been my choice to exclude my child from these weddings, I’m grateful that his name was on my, or our, invites.

It is horses for courses, and I’m sure as he gets older, and under different circumstances then we shall attend as a pairing.

In fact, there is a wedding on the agenda next summer, which personally I wouldn’t be bothered about attending, but I know my son will enjoy it, as his cousins will be there.

So I’m sure we shall go as a duo.

But this weekend is an opportunity for both of us to have a good and relaxing time.

Me enjoying a friends nuptials, and he, enjoying a stay at his grandparents. Share/Save/Bookmark


Kori said...

If more parents were considerate of the children's AND their own feelings-like in this case-there would never be a bone of contention regardnign the whole kid vs. no kid. I think you are msart for knowing that neither of you will have any fun, therefore why subject him to it? Smart daddy!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

this has caused MAJOR ructions in our family over the years.

My sister refused to go to her husband's only cousin's wedding when no children, and therefore hers, were explicity excluded.

So I'm keeping my head down on this one!

Mama Nabi said...

I am never offended when LN is not included in the invitation. If I were planning on bringing her to a casual affaire, I always ask what the atmosphere would be - you are right, no need to subject yourselves and others to an unhappy time.

T said...

Have fun!!

harassedmomsramblings said...


My weddingw as a morning wedding and I had my son already so there were kids!

But my brother got married last year and my kids were involved but left early with my folks!

It doesnt bother me at all when people say no kids! Its their day - their choice!

Violet said...

i hated going to weddings when I was a kid, so goodonya.

Barry Teeth, Beet Poet said...

This upcoming wedding is not Martin and Karen's is it?

Single Parent Dad said...

Kori - Thank you. I agree, especially with the SMART bit!

Xbox - Go on, put your foot in it.

Mama Nabi - Cool. Yeah if the wedding is going to be full of kids, a bouncy castle and a clown, then that ambiance may be more fitting for a toddler.

T - Will be doing my utmost.

Harrasedmom - Yeah we've done the same. When my sister got married Max was at the church and for photos but went home early with my in-laws.

Violet - Hadn't thought of it that way, but bang-on.

Barry Teeth - No we didn't get invited, but if you're off to theirs have a great time!

Tismee2 said...

Unless there are lots of kids and someone is prepared to keep an eye on things then its nothing but stressful I feel.

One wedding I went to they paid a couple of older girls they knew to entertain them. That was great for everyone.

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