Friday, 7 November 2008

One Or None

It is funny that after, what now seems a relatively short career, of decision making, policy construction and protocol formation, that I still do that sort-of thing, albeit in a very different environment and not as formally.

I have not created a hand book in my current field, not just yet anyway.

There was the nothing-of-poor-nutritional-value-allowed policy; that grew into the OK- in-moderation-and-if-the-teeth-brushing-schedule-is-followed-extensively.

My nature, or the way my mind works has help with this, and with parenting I believe.

Things are much easier to operate if you and everyone else know the boundaries and the exceptions, or for the purpose of clarity should they be called exclusions?

Rules are OK as long as they are not ridiculously adhered to, or are cumbersome.

And well formed and operated protocol leads to effective and well structure routines.

Kids love and thrive on that, well some do.

I am no robot; I try to do everything with a smile on my face, and base most of our lives around humour.

And I’m not a terrible stickler when Max is in the care of others. I insist on very few things being carried out the same as they are here.

Telling people what to do, on another level is really saying I do not trust you or your judgement in particular.

Trust, confidence and honesty are not inversely proportional. Not be in my un-written manual anyway.

I have not read a great deal of parenting books, just picking up one or two that I thought might have bereavement help in.

Amongst my limited reading was the affirmation that the actions of secondary carers will not affect ‘the rules’ a parent may create or actually operate, and nor should they be blamed for things you do not like in your child’s behaviour.

I like to think this is true.

But I do find it funny when Max exploits the differences between people, and highlights them comically.

He is terrible spoiled with both time and reward. He has more toys than Hamleys

When I choose to get my son a gift, I have long had a one-or-none procedure.

Junior picks up everything in the store, to which I consistently re-iterate “Which ONE do you want?”

This often gets a moan or a “I want them both Daddy.”

Then my one-or-none policy is re-affirmed.

Recently, when on a trip out with grandparents, they visited a shop, that had a BOGOF offer on some of the little man’s favourite figures.

So he was delighted to learn that he HAD to choose two items.

There was also some confusion.

“Two?” he asked.

“Daddy wouldn’t like it here, he says it’s one or none.”

How he understands, he will score well in his appraisal. Share/Save/Bookmark


Penelope said...

I think that there is nothing wrong with imposing limits. Your "one or none" policy is a great idea! (I wish I'd thought of that!!)
I also like the idea that Grandparents etc. can spoilt them a bit but that they know the rules at home. The difficulty, in my case, was making sure that the rules in both our home, and at the Lil P's Dad's place are the same ;o)

Mama Nabi said...

We are "one or none" household. Although, the other day, LN picked two pieces of candy and I immediately loomed over her, admonishing her for not following my "one or none" policy... boy, did I feel quite the ogre when she looked up and said, "But I was getting one for you, Mommy."

That is too funny that he associates stores he visits you as One or None stores. Ah, little ones know quite well who the pushovers are - LN learned a while ago that my sister NEVER says No. However, she is also aware that MY vote vetos my sister's vote as the Mother Superior.

Tismee2 said...

You do realise that he will now become the best bargain hunter in Toyland!

harassedmomsramblings said...

Limits are vital to the smooth running of my household!

Kids HAVE TO HAVE boundaries - well mine do anyway! I am exceptionally flexible but there are a few things that are non-negotiable! And they both know that (most days)

And I think your little man did very well - he learnt the lesson! ONE OR NONE! Super cool!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

There's something really cute that he was very aware of the rule, but I feel a tiny bit sad for him that he was a little nervous about it!

Single Parent Dad said...

Penelope - I agree, and I guess the situation is much different when there are 'two' homes.

Mama Nabi - Talk about a guilt shift. But does a part of you suspect that was the pre-decided defense?

Tismee - Shopping acumen is in his DNA there is no doubt about it!

Harassedmom - Cheers and I agree. Flexibility with lines.

Xbox - Fear is the path to the dark side I suppose.

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