Sunday, 14 December 2008

The X In Xmas

It is fair to say, and therefore type, that I was struggling to get into a festive mood.

This is a perennial problem, one that I have had from early adulthood.

Christmas from about 16 became an absolute pain in the backside. The magic was gone, and I, as a growing borderline alcoholic, was not particular interested in recreating any magic through the giving and receiving cycle.

December would roll around and bring a shed load of ‘dos’, which were just glorified binge drinking exploits, albeit with different justification.

Not that I needed it.

Being reasonable close to a weekend was usually enough for me.

The actually business and formalities of this time of year would actually be an unwanted distraction, and would eat enourmously into my drinking and sobering up time.

Relations with, errr, relations would be tested, especially with those closest to me.

I was horrible, and at times, got my priorities in an order that would upset others.

Perceived as outwardly ungrateful.

I would like to think that I have always been real, and even though I may appear aloof it need not necessarily mean I am not grateful.

With a wife that told me to grow up maturity my performance and behaviour at Christmas changed. It is now somewhat improved, not that doing that was particularly difficult.

I still struggle to get excited about it, and the whole receiving presents thing.

It does not make any sense to me. I mean you are buying for someone else who is buying for you, why do we not just set our own budget and buy stuff ourselves that guarantees whatever is chosen, is indeed wanted?

And wrapping up stuff that you already know about or have seen.

Systematic madness.

Having Max should re-energise my festive batteries, and it does in part.

I am keen to make sure that every Yule time he enjoys is happy, that typed, I endeavour to make every day a happy one, regardless of its calendar relevance.

I expect to get more enjoyment from this one, compared to the last few.

We will be settled in our own place, and my son’s increasing awareness can only add to our most recent experiences.

Yet I was still coasting towards it.

Then, bang.

During a very enjoyable day out, we took in a Christmas experience show, performed in part, on ice.

Apparently this performance included a nice morale about kids not wishing for things anymore, instead just sending lengthy alphabetised lists to the Lapland department of Amazon.

However my noel slush-gates were well and truly opened by the sight of several ice dancers, come fairies, in very fetching, and very, very short outfits.

Now there is a reason to get onboard about Christmas.

And after that, when it snowed on the hour as The Fat Controller sang carols with his lady-friends, I really did start to feel more warmed to the prospect of December 25th and much more focused on the countdown.

I can not afford it mind, but that is a whole other story.

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11 comments:

Ms. Single Mama said...

Wow... so are you in the Christmas spirit because you have a chance to see a girl in a Santa costume?

You're funny... at least you found on bright spot to Christmas!

I hear you on the present exchanging stuff... Christmas is for kids - end of story.

Zoeyjane said...

Seems to me, it's supposed to be your HEART that is warm this season.

And the whole exchanging presents thing is lost on me - there's little other way to make me feel uncomfortable than to buy me something. 'Cuz then, it's just all awkward, and stuff.

harassedmomsramblings said...

LOL whatever puts you in the mood :)

I love Christmas I always have and will keep that love alive in my kids for as long as I can!

To me its about the magic that is Christmas. The fantasy, the hope, the joy - yes I am an idealist but picking out something that you know someone really wanted and then watching them open it - nothing beats that!

Mama Nabi said...

That's the naughtiest picture I've seen on this blog... I used to dread Christmas with the in-laws, getting that list from them, buying what they want, wrapping what they already know I got for them, and watching them act surprised.

I didn't do Christmas either. I still don't. I merely facilitate enthusiasm and fantasy for LN. And that can bring the little kid out in you.

Roads said...

Good to see that something warmed the cockles of your heart, Ian.

Spring is just around the corner, but maybe the sap is rising early...

Let's hope you find your winter warmer, wherever she may be.

drleah@singlemommyhood.com said...

Hmmm . . .sounds like a different perspective on the Christmas season. Lots of us are looking forward to spring.

T said...

I was all about Christmas til the ex and I split. Since then, it has been a struggle... I feel, I guess, jaded at times now. But I do agree, its more about the children than me anyway.

And on the girls in short Santa skirts? Whatever jingles your bells man! ;)

Single Parent Dad said...

Ms.Single Mama - Correct with all your points.

Zoeyjane - Man, or Wo-man, I so relate to your comment.

Harassedmom - I do like that appreciate that feeling, and also appreciate that it is me getting the best out of buying. I just struggle to build the same emotion when my gift purchase is 'forced'.

Mama Nabi - So naughty, and inappropriate that image.

Roads - Indeed.

drleah - I am with you.

T - Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. And they certainly did.

single mom seeking said...

Okay, I was completely caught off guard by that half-naked festive woman on your blog. I thought I'd come to the wrong blog. Don't do that to me!

I've also had a hard time gettin' into the spirit, since I was really little... so I'm with you. But Max will be in the spirit for sure. It will rub off, even if you resist... I know, because I'm right there with my kid.

Violet said...

I only like Christmas since our daughter was born. She's crazy-mad about decorations and presents and reindeer etc.

The Fat Controller singing to his lady friends? I thought there was a Missus Fat Controller!

Single Parent Dad said...

Single Mom Seeking - My apologies but I didn't draw it!

As it gets closer, and more presents arrive I'm starting to feel decidely more festive.

Violet - There may very well be, but this rotund version had several lady friends.

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