Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Only If You Say Please

I have always enjoyed having reasonable manners, I quite like being respectful and polite.

Even if it does cost a few extra seconds and calories.

Courtesy can make the most difficult of subjects that bit easier, and, I find, people tend to say you handled that well, and remember your respect rather than your message.

Like, I really appreciate what you have done for me, yet, reluctantly, I am going to have to let you go.

It is a trait, like most parents, that I am attempting to instil in my young Padawan.

Getting his pleases and thank yous in the correct places is important to me, and therefore to him, to get right.

I am not sure he understands completely, like, at times, he will just go through his full repertoire of polite terms, if I remind him that one is missing.

Please, thank you, I love you.

One of them usually flies.

Generally he remembers, and comes across as genuine.

I so love the feeling of hearing an unprovoked courtesy. Fills me right to the top with the good stuff.

It is nice to see it in my son’s peers too.

At his party, I had some very nice moments with some of our visitors, one of them insisted on giving me a hug to thank us, and it took all of my energy to not instantly burst into tears.

I know, I am on the ‘edge’ at such events, the highs can be so difficult, but it was real lovely moment.

And I hope my boy shares many a moment, like this, with others.

The signs are encouraging.

I had further affirmation tonight that my own brand of etiquette training is working, just fine.

Bath time was fun tonight, no doubt because we have my parents here for a few days, more players in the various games and role plays we get up to.

After evading my clutches with the help of his accomplices, I eventually had a friendly wrestle with my son on the landing, as his warm bath awaited.

I then asked my newly naked boy to come and get in the tub.

“Only if you say please Dad.”

Too right son, too right. Share/Save/Bookmark


modernsinglemomma said...

Please is the magic word in our house too!
Gets my son wayyyy to much cereal and peanut butter ;)

Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

I'm always surprised at how polite R can be. Shouldn't be, because we do make a point of trying to role model general courtesy, but it still does. Haven't had her insist on pleases, though she does frequently remind us to say 'You're welcome' and yesterday she told me off for slamming the door when I stomped out of the room in a sulk, because she refused to sit still for 30 seconds to get her buttons done up.

Penelope said...

I absolutely agree that saying please and thank you costs nothing but is worth so much. I remember my little nephew aged about 3 asking for more pudding so I said, "What's the magic word?" and he said "Now!" Still cracks me up ;o)

Liz@Violet Posy said...

'Please' is the magic word at our house too and she knows when to do it to be ultra cute now!

That said now she's nearly 6 we're moving on to bigger concepts and idiot husband has now taught her about consideration for others.

So every second sentence has 'Mummy, you're not being considerate to me!!' when I've told her to clear up or something...it seemed like a good idea at the time ;)

The Dotterel said...

Sally's decided recently that she doesn't get thanked enough for what she does (and she does a lot - from changing nappies to writing Charlie's 'Thank You' cards) so we're bigging it up at present. The thing is, we thing that we say 'Thank You' all the time. Makes you wonder...

Single Parent Dad said...

Modernsinglemomma - But it's better than starving him to stop rudeness!

Cooding Mamma - 'You're welcome' is wonderful, as is a 'Bless you' when you sneeze.

Penelope - Brilliant. Would have been funnier if he'd said aberacadabara though.

Violet Posy - Litte pretty please mommy?

The Dotterel - You could get into the big debate or psyche of not doing things for the thank yous, but that would be a massive can of worms and confused message.

Part Mummy Part Me said...

That's lovely, he's such a bright spark! Glad he's keeping you on your toes, making sure you mind your Ps and Qs ;-)

Mama Nabi said...

My favourite moment with LN is when she wakes up in the middle of the night, more asleep than awake, says, "Mommy, may I please have some water?" She's more polite asleep than awake!

You gotta love it when they throw our words back at us... well, maybe not when they're older and it's not so cute any more.

Tismee2 said...

I'm a big fan of manners too but it saddens me to see so many youngsters these days who don't seem to have the words please and thank you in their vocabulary - just "give me" or "I want".

I always say "you're welcome" when someone says "Thank you" too.

Single Parent Dad said...

Part Mummy Part Me - Someone has to!

Mama Nabi - I'm with you on that time bomb

Tismee - I have a strong dislike for that too, and tend to raise my game around the like.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ahhh, it's great isn't it? Miss Mis a little forgetful on the pleases but almost perfect on the thank yous. O love it. :D

Jen said...

Not using please or thank you is a big pet peeve of mine. So much, I am not sure my children say them because they mean them or because they know how much I dislike them not using the words!!
A simple sentence with please at the end sounds much better.

Single Parent Dad said...

Jo - More than half-way there then. Top stuff.

Jen - It sure does, and even I, at 31, have deep trouble with sincerity.

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