Saturday, 14 February 2009


We are lucky enough that our best friends are on a similar life plan to us.

Our marriages were only about three months apart, and their daughter was born about two months after my wife had died, and was therefore, only nine months behind Max.

It may sound ridiculous, but being selfish, that was actually really good timing for me.

I was still very numb, but was getting myself out and about with Max to all sorts of places.

Just in time for my friend’s maternity leave, and interest in all things baby group, to start.

Their situation further suited me, as they each took time with their child, as their work lives and educational pursuits boded well to a very healthy family balance.

It would mean that there would be guy days, nicknamed ‘Gay Tuesdays’, as people would often assume we were a couple, and we would play to it, if the admission price of our chosen venue suddenly got cheaper because of it. And I hope the 'Tuesdays' part is self explanatory.

I would also get to spend time with the girls, and with their family as a unit.

And as we worth both suddenly limited socially, as in, going out at night becoming a very difficult, and unattractive pastime, with young children, coupled with recent widowhood not exactly being a great motivator for venturing out, we took to overnight stays at each others’ places pretty quickly.

The children would interact, there would be cross family bonding, then the kids would be settled down, and the adults could enjoy some nice food, a chat, a game or whatever took our fancy.

As long as we did not leave the house, or make too much noise, of course.

This practise has continued regularly for three-and-a-half years now.

Others even get involved.

My sister, their family, other friends, and even other, to-be-baby-sat, children.

Last night they were hosting (again) as they were on cousin baby sitting duties.

After our haircuts, we set off with a couple of toys, tooth brushes and respective changes of clothes.

As time has gone on, we seem to need to take less stuff, and leave some items at each others’ homes. Like we have some formula milk here, and I have left a night-time bed-nappy-sheet-thing at theirs’, for the boy.

It dawned on me en-route, how much I was actually looking forward to seeing their youngest.

Because the cousins would be there, this usually means the ‘big’ kids only need servicing with food, drinks, and the odd direction, leaving me a little more time than usual to continue my bonding process.

We all had a great few hours, the children played, I giggled with the baby.

I had forgotten just how much fun the I’ll-throw-this-thing-on-the-floor-the-moment-I-get-hold-of-it-but-cry-for-the-exact-same-thing-every-moment-it-is-not-in-my-possession game is.

The baby went to bed, and we played monsters-in-the-dark, quietly, while she settled down.

After the others had gone to bed, we, as in my male mate and me, popped to pick up a take-away, sneaking a cheeky pint in while we waited.

The food was lovely, and then we sat, caught up, generally ridiculed each other, and flaked out ourselves a few hours later.

My friends are such good hosts.

They have even planned their house around to make entertaining easier. Their girls will eventually share a room, and bunk beds, meaning that they have more space to accommodate us and the others for nights such as these.

Stopping in, has definitely become my new going out.

I really enjoy nights like these, and hope for many, many more.

Must get round to inviting them back to our place, for the next time. Share/Save/Bookmark


Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

We love staying in nights.

In fact our next three Saturday are planned as staying in nights either at friends or our house.

Life is so much easier that way ... and much more relaxed!

Single Mom Seeking said...

I hope you send this post to your friends... so sweet! Friends are so crucial. And I have no doubt you crack them up, yes?

Laura said...

Arent friends like this the best!

I have one - weekend visits there are great! She has kids same age as mine and they play while we bond!

Its a great way for us to relax in a safe environment for the kids!

Clairesmom said...

Thursday, Friday and Saturday piss ups were getting old anyhow!

DutchBitch said...

Such friendship are the best!

Tismee2 said...

We have stay in nights too. For the last few years New Years Eve has involved a picnic on the lounge floor for our two and our friends two kids while we sit and enjoy a meal and a few drinks in the dining room. They only live across the road so we can all drink and have a great evening at low cost and little stress.

Seems so much nicer than standing around it noisy bars, queuing for drinks and then paying a fortune for a taxi home.

Glad you enjoyed yourself, but what happened to the Gay Tuesdays?

The Dotterel said...

Staying in is definitely the new going out. You've started a trend!

Single Parent Dad said...

Laura - Indeed it is, enjoy.

Single Mom Seeking - My female best friend reads the blog, and you'd have to ask them if they think I'm funny, but why else hang out with me, well, there is Max.

Laura - They are.

Clairesmom - Too true.

Dutch Bitch - Bang on.

Tismee - We stopped in together this year, and I also had friends drop in from the village. Gay Tuesday went when the kids started going to nursery.

The Dotterel - Me? Trends? You should check out my wardrobe.

Tawny said...

Staying in nights are great, My sis her hubby and the boys come over here and we have great fun!

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