Thursday, 12 March 2009

Are You Looking At Me?

Being a widower I often look at people, generally folk that I know, but not well, and think, do they know my situation?

I can be chatting to such people, and completely lose myself to this thought, and therefore my track, and as a result, their attention all together.

Then it is no real surprise to get looks of bemusement at such times, but I also feel that I get unexplained odd ones sometimes, which itself is nothing new, as I have always left some people puzzled, just by my general appearance or persona.

Thing is, if they do actual exist - these 'looks' - there is ultimately one - a reason - it is just that I am blissfully unaware of what it may be.

A fact highlighted recently by a few friends of mine.

I have never really been much of a stickler for my appearance, stemming from a childhood that deemed any sort of grooming an unnecessary and therefore all too consuming process.

It was not until my mid-teens, that even showering became unreluctant, but post antiperspirant activities were still not introduced until a much later stage, and I had a far from regular routine.

I was not so much as unfashionable, as by chance I did purchase, or more accurately procure, some half-decent clobber.

But I would groom and dress at a minimum to allow myself passage to the day’s planned activities, taking note of dress codes and probable door policies.

And relaxed probably does not go far enough to describe how I would look after myself throughout a day, Samantha would have said horizontal, alluding to a more than laid-back approach.

I can actually remember a great example a good number of years ago now. My best friends were moving house, I was cajoled into helping them out, and then Samantha, my new girlfriend at the time, was coming to stay at the new house and be introduced to my friends.

We spent a hung-over day moving and sorting out all that needed doing, and we worked well into the night, so were knackered the following morning.

In their efforts to appease the ailing help, my friends had made bacon sandwiches, and in my haste to come down and eat them, I had not bothered to dress appropriately.

But I think they were used to my lax attitude, and seeing me in my pants for that matter.

Sam was due in the afternoon, but as you might expect my friends had a brisk succession of people visiting them to have a peek around their lovely new abode.

Again, there were people I knew, but none very well.

So, I had a succession of familiar faces taking in my friends’ lovely new lounge, then looking at me all scowly-faced vegging on the sofa in all my boxer pant glory.

My friends were actually grateful as my appearance seemed to increase the speed at which these pesky guests departed.

Strange that.

The lady, who quite incredibly became my wife, arrived a few hours later, and as she had not met my friends before I went to the door to accompany her in.

I was not even conscious of the fact that I was still barely clothed and it was mid-afternoon, Sam was giggling on the other side of the door, and had her 'yes-that’s-my-boyfriend' look on.

After I opened the door I went to give her a welcoming kiss, which she stopped me from doing, instead she chose to wipe away stray sauce from the mornings sandwiches, before planting a smacker on me.

Horizontal, was probably right.

These days I like to think I am a little more on top of my stuff, but then again there is the whole new toddler ball game to encompass.

While I snuck a cheeky pint the other week with a chum, I was getting funny looks, and then my company pointed out it may be because I had Transformers stickers all over my sweater.

I was getting a few the other day on our walk home from nursery, and then I was reminded that I had Max’s tiny woolly hat on, as he had discarded it.

And again in a local grocery store, that time apparently because wearing plastic medallions is not necessarily common place.

The world will be used to me one day. Share/Save/Bookmark


rosiescribble said...

Brings back very recent memories of venturing out blissfully unaware I am covered in the stickers my own daughter has given me, usually for good behaviour!

Kori said...

I went to work one time with a dinosaur pony-tail holder in my hair. People are still not used to ME yet, and I have been wearing macaroni necklaces and stickers for years. So I get this, and it just makes me smile.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Lovely post that.

Pints & stickers.

Not a soccer mom said...

Something very attractive about one who is comfortable in their own skin-- er boxers.

and also one comfortable getting right INTO their childs' life.

Sadia said...

I rarely remember to consult the mirror. I was once stopped by a concerned college student on my walk from my car to my office. My trousers were on inside out. My children are always well-coordinated, but I have to admit that that's because they insist on it.

Laura said...

Kiddie hats on and sticker covered clothes - all makes for a rather cute little package :)

But being a parent does kinda make you not sweat the small stuff like that!

erin said...

This post is apropos for me today because in the mid day light streaming through the classromm windows at school this afternoon (I am a mature university student as well as single mom ) I noticed that I had oatmeal smeared on the bottom of my shirt and top of my jeans, aproximately the height of a toddler's hug. In most situations, I laugh this off but today I was rather self conscious about it as smeared oatmeal looks kinda questionable on clothing. I know it's common but good to be reminded.

A Modern Mother said...

What a scene. Wish I was there to see it!

The Dotterel said...

Sally went through a phase of 'doing' people's hair, and I once went to school with a pink plastic hair-clip of hers still in place! Mind you, at the time all the boys at school wore Alice bands, so they couldn't talk!

Badass Geek said...

I've never been one to really notice what I look like. If it wasn't for my wife's constant harping about it, I'd resemble a caveman.

MindyMom said...

That's cute. And the stickers and such are all part of parenting - the good stuff that keeps us (and others) laughing!

Leanne said...

Just make everyone get used to you, there's little point in trying to change now. Maybe you're just comfortable with yourself and if that's the case, fantastic and congratulations.

I get funny looks because I'll happily skip down the high street wearing a pair of deelyboppers if it'll get a smile out of the child.

Bee and Rose said...

I walked around all day yesterday at my daughter's Irish dance performance with an Angelina Ballerina sticker planted firmly on my booty! I kept noticing the strange smirky looks, but blew it off. One of Cat's little dancer friends walked up behind me, ripped it off, handed to me and walked away! LOL!

T said...

Yep, I've had toy tattoos on my arms and bows in my hair... all for the sake of LOVE!

Now, go put some pants on man!

Momo Fali said...

I once went to pay for an item at the store and instead of pulling money out of my pocket, I handed the cashier some used tissues and an action figure.

Kat said...

You are just a trend setter.

WiseGuy said...

Lovely post.

I have not been quite careful at regular dressing as well...I just have to think of it especially when going out...

but yes, I have ended up with shiny superhero characters tattooed on the back of my palm..or even devilish pencil caps. (the latter was really my collection, my child ego had completely swallowed me).

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Feeling comfortable in your own home is the main thing, I've learnt that one over the years and eventhough I smarten myself up a bit for guests, I enjoy being a scruffy farmer and married to an even scruffier one!

CJ xx

Frog in the Field said...

Darling husband often has pink glitter in his hair, Minnie Mouse ears on, and pink hats, head bands..he's driven his combine harvester ilke it, been to the pub like it, chatted to the postman like it..always oblivious, it's what Dads do!

Crys said...

probably best that the world never gets used to us. when the world recognizes us as normal, we have lost all of our sparkle, don't you think?

laid back is a good way to be, is what i say.

Krystal said...

Oh honey, I walk out of the house with all sorts of stickers, medallions, pasta jewlry, etc that my kids send in - as well as sometimes spit up, baby food stains, drool, and on the occasional days with the sniffles - snot - yeap, I go out that way and sometimes to work even! I get those looks and they are even worse when you and your kid are covered in stickers and markers and such ahhh, the joys of parenthood.

Single Parent Dad said...

Rosie - Those ones are the best.

Kori - Glad that it did.

Xbox - Indeed.

Not a soccer mom - I'll take your word.

Sadia - I must get one of those.

Laura - Parenting does put things like that into perspective.

Erin - Smeared breakfast, nice.

A Modern Mother - The Transformer stickers weren't all that.

The Dotterel - Pretty in pink?

Badass Geek - Cavemen rock.

Mindy - I love it.

Leanne - I know, a million snears for one smile.

Bee and Rose - Brilliant.

T - And comedy.

Momo Fali - Did they accept it?

Kat - Then ignore fashion.

Wiseguy - Superheros are cool.

Crystal Jigsaw - I take my slippers out with me.

Frog in the Field - The good ones that is.

Crys - Horizontal is the best.

Krystal - Indeed.

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