Apart from the above being one of my favourite jokes, those of an irritable ilk anyhow, I have come to realise that there are many parenting statements, or phrases, that I find myself saying a lot.
A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot.
I thought I would put together a top ten, and see if anyone else is using the same, or has their own gems of reiteration.
1. Calm Down –
Used on a repeat-to-fade basis, between the hours of 7-30am and 7-30pm.
2. Settle Down –
Used on a repeat-to-fade basis, from 7-30pm until shut-eye status is achieved.
3. Focus on the positive –
A phrase I use when my son points out that things have not gone exactly as he had hoped, or if his every whim is not catered for within nanoseconds.
4. You Muppet –
Useful for moments just after my son has ignored my advice of focusing on the positive.
5. What do you want to eat/wear/do? –
My mistake ridden, glib, speaking before thinking. Everyone knows you need to give kids options, otherwise their answers will never do.
6. Are you on prescribed medication? –
An affectionate phrase spoken shortly after my son has confused me with his latest request or action, often followed with;
7. You are never right –
Again, affection unbound.
8. One or none? –
A question I pose when my son stretches the boundaries of reasonableness. When he demands two ice creams for example, I reiterate his options ‘one or none?’ (Can be used in conjunction with number 3)
9. You know the drill/we do this every day –
Reminding him that the routine is well established, and thus moaning about it will just lengthen the process
10. I love you –
Something I say to my boy, everyday, lots, and while he is responsible for this action, I am not holding it against him.
So there is my ten, I am sure to be revisiting this list, and probably have missed a few.
But, more importantly, what are yours?