Thursday, 7 May 2009

Horatio (not Nelson) in the House

My son’s nursery has a renewed zing. Which is great, as I thought it was starting to lose some of its impetus around Christmas.

The reason for both of these things was a change in leadership.

The old manager has departed for pastures new, and been replaced by her understudy, in a full-time, full-jurisdiction, capacity.

It has been a bit strained since the New Year, as both these people knew what was happening. But as the nursery comes under some remit of the school they expect the same of its staff, as they do of their teachers.

Which means that they can only normally depart at the end of terms, and they have to give reasonable notice.

A practice usually put in place to give schools time to find replacement teachers, so not to leave them bereft, yet in this case, it actually caused a few issues, as the replacement was obviously itching to get stuck in, and apply her stamp on the place and its practices.

While the former was somewhat coasting to an exit, but still able to flex her authoritah at any given moment, or over any particular issue.

Thus, the occasional spiky moment.

But it is all good, and the standards were still tip top, even if the trending – for a short while – was not upward.

The new, or renewed initiatives, as a collective, are great.

Overall they are attempting to make the kids transition to school, a much easier one, particularly relevant for us, as Max starts at the school in September.

And, boy, has that come round quickly.

They have their own hooks in the corridor, as they will have at school, they are being introduced to the school’s phonics programme, handwriting style, recognition, and writing of their own names.

Simple social and personal skills are being rehearsed, like taking their shoes and clothes on and off, going to the toilet on their own, and knowing how to address one another, and the teacher.

One of the thing they used to do, sending a nursery pet, which is really a stuffed toy, home, on a rota basis, has returned on a more formal arrangement.

Horatio the Hedgehog has been created.

He has his own log, of who had him and when. Which has issued and to-be-returned dates, not dissimilar to that of a library book.

Parents are emotionally blackmailed ‘welcome’ to include a story of what Horatio gets up to, and accompanying pictures would be appreciated.

The first two parents to look after the prickly little thing have set a very bad tone. They have both word processed documents of their hedgehog included escapades, including pictures – yes that is correctly a plural – and all done in time to send the journal back updated by their particular return date.

The inconsiderate barstewards.

My son pleaded with the nursery staff for Horatio over an extended weekend, justifying his case by saying he has no one to cuddle at night.

The lying little charmer.

But as they fell for it, we are with hog for a few days, four nights I think.

So, to rain all over his argument a little, I amassed all the soft toys I could find, laid them, and my child out on his bed, and took the shot for Horatio’s diary.

I shall be using the words ‘vast array’ within my word processed account of what Horatio got up to.

Max also told the nursery staff that he likes crumpets, and we NEVER, EVER, have them.

Refer above.

Thus, currently, in our kitchen, are a couple of crumpets defrosting. They will be ready for tomorrow’s breakfast, and obviously another shot for this damn journal.

Give me a personalised coat hook, over Horatio, any time.

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Single Parent Dad said...

Can I post a comment?

Is Tara@Stickfingers going mad?

Find out next week, in another exciting episode of Single Parent Dad.

Elly said...

Hahaha, that's brilliant. What a cheeky little guy your son is :)

Eddie 2-Sox said...

The Horatio Syndrome is widespread, and more devastating than pig flu. Only the week before last I helped a Yummy Mummy at Sam's marital arts class as she took photos of Dogbreath the Dog (can't remember the proper name) watching Benjamin doing his front and side kicks. After that they were visiting the police station for more pictures (the yummy mummy in question is a copper and cuts a VERY nice figure in the uniform).

So. Don't despair dude. You're not being picked on. Just staple your Heathrow to New York airline ticket in the journal for maximum one-up-ness.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Just wait until they do the Flat Stanley project where you then get to tote around a hand drawn Stanley about two feet tall and take his picture in various places. And then you get to ask everyone you know to host Stanley. And take his picture and write about his adventures. All in the name of education.

Kids love it though. Maybe Stanley and Horatio can get together for crumpets and tea.

Chairman Bill said...

Perhaps you should include a story about how Horatio went on a drug-fuelled sex and alcohol binge.

The Dotterel said...

Is Sam really doing marital arts, Eddie? At his age?!
PS: I tried to register with Cleo (or whatever it's called) Ian - specifically to enter your comp (God knows I can't afford to buy one!) - but it didn't want to know me! Boo hoo...

Kat said...

My LaLa got to bring home a Teddy in his own tin from school. We had to write about all the things we took Teddy to do during his weekend abroad in America (ok so we just took him to the military base to do some shopping). It was really fun to do. LaLa got to use her words to tell me what to write.

Badass Geek said...

Sneaky little kid. Should make for some good memories for him at least.

SciFi Dad said...

You've got an extended weekend, right?

I say recreate Episode IV for Horatio. You could have him discover he's an orphan, and go on a quest to find the man who killed his father, who would turn out to be a truck driver who ran his dad over... I think this is doable over a weekend.

Potty Mummy said...

We are mid-Flat Stanley too for Boy #2, and I haven't arranged a single trip for him. Bad mother.

Momo Fali said...

Love the picture! Don't you hate it when parents set the bar so high that some of us have trouble getting over it? There is a mom at my daughter's school, who has THE BEST birthday parties and sleepovers and crafts and EVERYTHING. I feel like a schmuck next to her.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Love the crumpets bit.

Are you sure he hasn't picked up another definition of it along the way...?

UDH Boy said...

Been lurking as a non commenting reader for a while, and finally grown a voice (or a font, I guess...). Love your blog, haven't got through the whole lot yet but I find it an amusing and insightful read. Also love to hear other people have to do things like the "come here I have to whisper something" grab-attack for morning dressings :)
Horatio as a toy name really caught my attention as my eldest daughters' soft stuffed lizard somehow got that moniker. I remember asking what we should name him...
"Lenny?" Nah. "Larry?" Nah. "Leo?" Nah.... (twenty four L names later, out of oh sod-it-then frustration...). How about Horatio the Lizard then? Yeheyeheyeheyeeeeh.
Look forward to reading about Max's upcoming school days come autumn time. He's one cute and clever lad!

Single Parent Dad said...

Elly - You know it.

Eddie - Will do.

Blogging Mama Andrea - That sounds like fun.

Chairman Bill - That would be cool. I might do that but no glue it in.

The Dotterel - We'll get you in another way.

Kat - It has been fun. It's just it's been taken a little far by some.

Badass Geek - I hope so.

SciFi Dad - My life is a weekend.

Potty Mummy - 'mid-Flat Stanley' I like that. You know why super is in superimposing don't you?

Momo Fali - Yes, I detest them too.

Xbox - Not entirely. But he would be telling the truth if that was the case!

UDH - Thanks for de-lurking, and the lovely comment. I hope you do continue to enjoy reading here.

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