Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Mommy Blogging, With Balls.

The bosom of the mommy blogging network, while being wondrous, has also been a lovely place for me to nestle.

At its best it is all warm and cosy, and if it could grow arms, they would have been thrown around me to pull me even closer – not that I need the encouragement, boobies have a magical pull all of their own.

But, for me, it has certainly felt that way. Very welcoming.

Just as in real life it has been nice to be accepted by mothers via an online means, here, and from foreign climes.

I am a very proud member of the British Mummy Bloggers community, have spoken to Alpha Mummy about the rise of British mommy blogging, and have been invited to join in on a few memes originated for moms.

However I am most definitely not a mother, by the clinical biological definition, not the last time I checked anyway.

The dangly bits are a dead giveaway - except in very cold weather - and I do sometimes leave the house without a bag, can you imagine?

I can not be a woman, and therefore, nor a mother.

This is confirmed according to the Oxford English dictionary;

• noun 1 a female parent. 2 (Mother) (especially as a title or form of address) the head of a female religious community. 3 informal an extreme or very large example of: the mother of all traffic jams.

• verb look after kindly and protectively, sometimes excessively so.

As a noun I have no chance, except with the third part of the definition. I have been described as the mother of all sorts of horrible things.

But if we are looking at using mother as a verb, then that definition very much applies to myself. Except, I hope, the second part of the definition, which really is incorrect and should only apply to the word with an added ‘S’ at the start.

Interestingly, the exact opposite is true with the definition of father;

• noun
1 a male parent. 2 an important figure in the origin and early history of something: Pasteur, the father of microbiology. 3literary a male ancestor. 4 (often as a title or form of address) a priest. 5 (the Father) (in Christian belief) the first person of the Trinity; God.

• verb be the father of.

I mean, I am a father, a male parent, but to simply ‘be the father of’ does not really go anywhere near an explanation of my relationship, and responsibilities I have, with my son.

It probably does all fathers an injustice, well, all the good ones in any case.

But this is not, or meant to be, a definition rant, it is more a thank you post.

My situation, and the way I have chosen to parent, lends me a few benefits. One is that I feel I can relate to all sorts of situations.

I relate to both mothers and fathers, in many different situations. Those in split families, those in picture perfect situations, two incomes, one income families, single parents, those widowed of course, and even same sex relationships.

And while I can relate, I also appreciate the respect, and my acceptance by any of these people, in any of these situations, and any I have failed to remember.

So to all those wonderful parents, that I mother amongst, thank you, and bless your bosoms.

Every last one of them.



Lisa Brandos said...

Awesome. And you all have been so welcoming of me as I've ventured into the world of mommyblogging. Gracious and kind. The way we're supposed to be.

MindyMom said...

Thank you SPD. Well said, and in turn I will bless your balls. ;)

Tara said...

Only you can get away with saying 'bless your bossoms' to a bunch of women and get away with it!
Bless your . . . cotton socks

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

In the words of Cornership and Brimful of Asha

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Mine’s on the 45

T said...

What a wonderful post! And yes, I'm with Mindy. A second blessing upon your balls!

(And especially the dangly bit that pals around with them!)

My bosoms thank you.

Eleanor said...

Bravo!I have been following for a while and again today you evoked out loud laughter. But do you suppose the children find it scary to hear their parent laughing like a maniac whilst alone in front of the computer?

Canadian Bald Guy said...

Great post....

...and y'know, it's a brilliant way to get women to "bless your balls" repeatedly. Kudos!!

SciFi Dad said...

boob blessing?

ball blessing?

what the hell kind of parenting blogs do you Brits write?!?

Not a soccer mom said...

Yes yes those definitions need to be rewritten...
for 'guys like you'. Dangly bits and all.

I lift a glass to all of the aforementioned!!!

Dan said...

Get back with the Daddybloggers where you belong. We're planning a full on invasion of mummyblogger territory next week. we cold do with a double agent on the inside like you.

Coding Mamma (Tasha) said...

Hopefully the 21st century and the much bigger part fathers are playing in raising children these days (though I don't think that's completely new either; my dad played a very big part) will help to rewrite the definitions over the next few years.

I try to use the term 'parent bloggers' rather than 'mummy bloggers', but I do slip sometimes. Chris can get, quite fairly so, annoyed at the emphasis on mums. When we went to meet Rosemary's playrgoup leader a couple of weeks ago, she talked mostly at me and when came to parent duty (it called 'parent duty' not 'mum duty') she made a point of telling me that I wouldn't have to do it because I'm expecting. Chris was standing right there and is more than capable of playing with children and cutting up some fruit. I pointed to him and said 'Yes, but he can do it,' and she smiled and said 'Oh... right... OK.'

Anyway, that's all to say that I agree. Good post.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

That was a sweet and funny post. I don't think we have to define ourselves as one or the other really. We are just parents. I know plenty of blogger dads who are more "motherly" than I am.

"Bless your bosoms" you are a riot.

Potty Mummy said...

SPD, nice post, well put and well judged. And tell me, when this started did you ever think you would type 'bless your bosoms' knowing a whole load of women would read it and not take any kind of offence?

Blogging is a wonderful thing indeed... (bet your mates down the pub think it's hilarious!)

New Mummy said...

Lol, great and great blog

Writer Dad said...

LOL, bless the bosoms indeed.

Momo Fali said...

You deserve the respect. You've earned it.

Noble Savage said...

I'm glad to have dads in the blogging mix. Their (your) opinions and experiences are just as valid and important as mothers'. I embrace dads to my bosom wholeheartedly. Erm...

Maternal Tales said...

Oh you wouldn't bless my bosoms if you could see them - you'd shriek and run a mile - hee hee! But yes, great post as always!

Linda said...

Is it PC to say you are cock of the walk? :)*
I'd offer you my bosom (better known as bazookas) but Erica @ Littlemummy only escaped a day or so ago. Clung on for dear life she did, bless her. Couldn't hear a word she said. Teeth marks were buggers to get out.
Sorry I was too late with the tagging thing, have only just renewed my interest in blogging for one reason and another!
*okay, so the answer's no.

TopChamp said...

Ah.... so you're not a woman...

A Modern Mother said...

Nice post. And we all know you are a man, believe me.

English Mum said...

Gah. Laura stole my 'everbody needs a bosom for a pillow' gag. Mind you, we're probably the only two old enough to remember the song. Bless your...er...wedding vegetables (see what I did there? cookery euphemism?) too x

Kat said...

Well I think you are the Mother of all Fathers.

rosiescribble said...

Lovely post, SPD. You could be a fother or a mather, perhaps?

Thanks for you hilarious Girls Aloud comment. They are filth indeed!

Karen said...

Hahaha, You and your blessed parts are awesome.

Lola said...

I'm new to this side of blogland, but I'm happy I stumbled here via Crystal Jigsaw. I am a single mamma from Italy and I write a cooking/journal blog where I occasionally include more personal posts.

In reading your very funny ode to the bosom I noticed you mentioned parenting blogger communities. I will peruse them, thank you. I had been shyly looking for somenting of the sort. I wonder if there's an International equivalent.

Ciao and do come by for a visit, there's always good food, a glass of wine and fun conversation at my place called Aglio, Olio & Peperoncino.

Single Parent Dad said...

Lisa Brandos - Thanks for that.

MindyMom - They feel blessed.

Tara - Gucci, isn't it?

Laura - Best one hit wonderage.

T - My oh my.

Eleanor - Well, if they do, mine should be scared witless.

CBD - Cheers, and double-cheers.

SciFi Dad - Top-notch ones, but we have our knockers ;-).

Not a soccer mom - Cheers, *chink*

Dan - And, now we have the perfect double bluff.

Coding Mamma - I don't like that either, I had a situation at hospital with a nurse, and as my sister was with me all the questions were directed that way, until I ranted that is. Cheers for the comment.

Blogging Mama Andrea - Indeed, and thanks.

Potty Mummy - Most definitely.

New Mummy - Thank you.

Writer Dad - And blessed them more ;-)

Momo Fali - That you.

Noble Savage - Good on you, and your bosom.

Maternal Tales - I doubt it. I don't think I could run an actual mile ;-)

Linda - PC? Since when have we concerned ourselves with that nonsense.

TopChamp - Bang-on.

A Modern Mother - You do? I knew that webcam was a mistake.

English Mum - I remember it well too.

Kat - Well thanks.

Rosie - I am after a few beers.

Karen - You've heard the rumours then?

Lola - Prego Lola, prego.

Linda said...

Okay then, you're a cock and a fine one too.

Natika said...

Do not define your role with a label!
You are a wonderful nurturer.
Boobs are over rated. Try rolling over at night with them!

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