Saturday, 9 May 2009

My Fairy Cake Protocol

I read a few - and see a lot - of recipes on ye olde tinterweb.

Cooking is something I enjoy, however, washing up is something I endure.

Add to that I am often cooking for just two, one of which has a tendency to turn his squidgy little nose up at things that do not resemble something he has consumed previously.

That is not to say, or type, that we do not try new things, but I tend to only stretch my culinary skills when we have more numbers to share those delights with.

However back to blog point, and post.

I thought I would add to the masses, and add my own ingenious instructions of how to bake.

So here is baking fairy cakes, the lazy way;


- One child, or I have actually been known to entertain two with this process. But I think if your adult to child ratio exceeds 1:2 the Health and Safety Executive requires you to apply for a permit.

- One overpriced box, containing sachets of flour, icing sugar, fairy cake cases, and – for optimum effect – d├ęcor embossed with someone, or something, so important that they require a royalty.

- Extra icing sugar, for when you realise the above ensemble has too little in, or that you do not have an encyclopedic type knowledge of spoon sizes and as such your initial icing efforts are a tad runny.

- One egg, and one measuring jug of water to check the freshness of such egg. If it sinks, it’s safe.

- Two mixing bowls, or the will to wash the first one as soon as it has been used to mix the cake mixture and egg together.

- Aprons, matching if preferred.

- Whisk, electric - if saving time in the mixing process is your bag.

- An oven (pre-heated to several degrees wotsit)

- A baking tray.

- Oven gloves (marginally more important than everything else on this list).

- Cooling tray, or something that can perform the same function as a cooling tray. I.E. Something that items will cool down on I.E. Any flat surface.

- The will to repeat the words ‘careful’, ‘stop licking that’ and ‘no they are not ready yet’, a lot.

- A cleaner, or at least double as much time on your hands that you have used to actually make these lovely things.

- And one person who looks like it takes every inch of his concentration to stop dribbling (see picture).

Executive Summary of easy cake making protocol

Full instructions will be available on the one size fits all box, so I will just summarise.

- Get all the ingredients into the bowl – keeping child, or children, out of the bowl.

- Spoon produce or arduous stirring/whisking unequally into the cases, this will ensure plenty of love filled arguments over who gets to eat the bigger cakes.

- Cook. Checking every time you hear the words ‘are they ready yet’ if only to steal yourself a few seconds of distraction, delaying the next time you will hear them.

- Mix icing – badly – while items cook/cool, remember items should be cooled on a specialist cooling device.

- Allow children to decorate cakes as they see fit, and question, at the end, if they can see at all.

- Finally, do not expect any yourself, unless you count ‘any’ as strays with the icing licked off, only disregarded once the children are full.

So basically, it could not be easier, and certainly any less fulfilling, if not actually filling - for the adults.

I owe a lot of this ‘skill’ to my home economics teaching mother, who, as you may have worked out, obviously threw me out of her classes for swearing and generally being a nuisance.

Thank you, and I am sure Green's Cakes would also like to say the same.

My competition to win a brand new Nintendo Wii, worth, I don't know, loads, has been extended, and still offers UK residents, a great opportunity to win. Enter here. And if you are having trouble, or have great reluctanct to sign up with, then just link to the post on your own blog, that counts as an entry too.



Red Lotus Mama said...

So where is the after photo of this fabulous fairy cake?!?!?!?!

LC said...

I love it

English Mum said...

A BOX? Containing SACHETS?


That's the sound of me falling over in horror.

smitten by britain said...

What? No results? You can't tease us with the details and not show us the end to your means. C'mom!

Elly said...

Hahaha, I read that as 'Fairy Bread' (think butter bread with sprinkles on it. It's a commonpkirs party thing in NZ) rather than than 'Fairy Cake' and had to take a moment to figure out why you were using sachets! Ah well, if the end product is awesome, no worries about whether you go there with sachets or not :)

kestrel said...

Hello, good job with the baking. I have started many baking times with my daughter, somewhere between mixing the ingredients and putting in the oven, she disappears and doesn't return till icing time, what happened?

Not a soccer mom said...

cookin up some trouble- and fun I see

T said...

What a fun post! And now I'm craving cake. Or at least icing...

You two are adorable troublemakers.

Happy Mother's Day to you, Ian. You really do both jobs so very well.

Tismee2 said...

You know if you put your mind to it you could whisk up a proper cake and have it in the oven before you even sort out the sachets in the box.

Apparently hubby is a better cook than me but he kids say my cakes are the best ever.

Emma said...

I'm glad you realize the importance of oven mitts. On Christmas Eve, I baked cookies with my 4 year old and did not give her a mitt when the cookies came out of the oven. She touched the sheet and needless to say I ruined Christmas Eve. She cried for near 3 hours.

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

I could shout 'CHEAT' but I'm not much better myself. Everything I bake either comes out burnt, rock hard or sloppy.

On one occasion I rang a friend to ask what temperature to cook the rice crispie buns at. In my defence I was under extreme stress at the time.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

This post couldn't have come at a better time as we are preparing to bake a cake for my little one's 3rd birthday. Cake mix from a box and frosting in a can. Nothing says love like Betty Crocker :)

Potty Mummy said...

Sounds great, and if you ever fancy going off-piste with the decorations visit here and order yourself all sorts of funky sugar decorations...

rosiescribble said...

Oh I've done the 'baking with a box' thing but I still managed to burn the lot!

OMG Pregnant said...

Can you please tell me how I go about applying to the Heath & Safety Executive........ ;0)

Maternal Tales said...

Hee hee - yes sounds like our cooking too! And please, please can we see the results? Love the photo, btw - just too cute. I'm not sure who is enjoying it more - you or Max?!!

Single Parent Dad said...

Red Lotus Mama - They did stay still long enough for an after shot.

LC - Good.

English Mum - I expect my comeuppance shortly.

Smitten by Britain - Oh I can.

Elly - End product thinking, I like it.

Kestrel - Hello. That sounds familiar, maybe it's spreading.

Not a soccer mom - Always.

T - None left here. And thank you. Mwah.

Tismee - I know, I think I have shamed myself into taking action.

Emma - I have learnt from experience. Just like you, or your daughter. Ouch.

Laura - Brilliant. And that may inspire my second excellent recipe. Rice crispies, add chocolate, done.

Blogging Mama Andrea - I'm no Betty.

Potty Mummy - Cheers.

Rosie Scribble - Even the box?

OMG Pregnant - I have their number on speed dial.

Maternal Tales - Will have to see.

SciFi Dad said...

You are a far more brave man than I.

I am reluctant to bake BY MYSELF, let alone with preschooler in tow. (I have been known to cook with her assistance, but never bake.)

Also? I agree: next time show us the cake!

Zoeyjane said...

I'm pretty sure that cookies are much easier. In my experience, anyway. Also, cinnamon rolls and bread that requires kneading are super fun.

UDH Boy said...

Along these baking and kitchen activity lines, whilst watching the semi-military regime that is "Jon and Kate plus 8" the other night... I saw Kate making edible play dough, from :
1 part runny honey
2 parts peanut butter
2 parts powdered milk (you can chuck raisins in for eyes etc too)

If Max loves playdough as much as our eldest girl does (don't they all if it's messy?!) I reckon it could be a winner.
Bonus part is that making it is completely devoid of specialist cooling tray requirements and you still get to wear a nice pinny.

steven said...

Really great ideas. I like every example. Just might have to try these... So cute! Thank you!
more templates easy to download

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