Thursday, 3 September 2009

Major rebuild

Since August 2005, and from the moment my wonderful wife passed away, my life, or our lives, have been all about the rebuild.

Plans, and changes, were made on a next day, next week, next month basis, and then eventually, even further afield than that.

I found it difficult to get my thoughts around thinking too far ahead, and still do, having had my plans destroyed in the space of going to bed for the evening, and waking to what was to become a new future.

Yet, outline plans were formulated, and landmark points were considered, and changes at those points evaluated and anticipated.

One of those points along our new, just-us-two time-line, was Max starting school, which will actually happen, next week.

This is a significant mark, and change for him, but it is also a huge one for me too.

While I have not neglected myself, my focus has been the boy.

I have spent time away from him, and also thought about how I might make a living, or occupy my time, when I expected to have more of it available.

But it has mainly been about his future, mine has been a tad leashed, while I attempted to give him a sound start towards his.

It has been very much about my present though, and it has been my absolute privilege to have spent this time with him, and has been absolutely warming, and satisfying, to be around him and share in all the things he has done so far.

The right thing to do.

My mini-colossus has been my rock, without even knowing it.

Now I need to sharpen focus on the things that will not involve him, concentrate more on me.

A me that has become more sizeable than I would like. I have never been exactly svelte, but I have at least had a body that looks like it has seen some sport in the not too distant past.

Last weekend, in a borrowed wetsuit, it hit me how out of shape I have become.

Yuck.

The NHS agrees.

Gyms have not really been places I have enjoyed, or stuck with. The only time I have used one effectively, and for a decent amount of time, was after knee surgery, when I really needed to, or face horrendous consequences.

Sport, or more specifically team sport, predominately hockey and cricket, have been games I have relied on to keep me reasonably fit.

Those are out for now, I am not fit enough to drop back in to one.

Instead I shall be self-prescribing some swimming, cycling and some muscle work. Not going mad, but introducing them enough so they become habitual.

The same is true for my diet. I generally eat well, and healthily, but I can, and do, snack on all sorts of rubbish at totally the wrong times.

Again, I need to get out of the current habits, and introduce some new ones.

My initial target will be to get fitter before the end of the year, and to bring my BMI back into the healthy, from the overweight section.

Then in the new year, I will be able to consider sport, and after a full-term, have more of an idea if I want to use some of my weekend for sport regularly.

I also hope to be working more, and have some plans in that area, and meetings set for very nearly the moment that the school term commences here.

So, let the rebuilding continue.

Just call me Steve.


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