Wednesday, 25 November 2009


I am currently a tad confused by my son’s boisterous behaviour.

Now I could have ‘my-child-couldn’t-possibly-be naughty’ parenting goggles on, however I could equally be donning the ‘overreacting-and-expecting-too-much’ shades.

Being a single parent, it is at times that I have conflicting ideas, or am not entirely sure on an aspect of parenting, that I most miss not being part of a parenting conglomerate.

Rather conflictingly though, I think at times where I may waver on my opinion, or how to proceed with dealing with a particular issue, the added dynamic of another parent – whom may be equally undecided – may actually create more issues, and stresses, which ultimately can take the focus from the matter that you originally starting dealing with.

Anyway, what I am dealing with, or thinking of dealing with, is my son’s rather brash nature with other boys, and, for that matter, adult men.

We have always bashed each other around, and I think my tolerance level has always been high, perhaps too high, compared to other people he has ‘playfully’ fought with.

Thus there are some inconsistencies, he may get told off for something by one person, that another would let ride.

It has never really been a big issue with other children, but, I fear, it may become one.

We have had a couple of instances, where even though I have thought my son has understood why he should not act in a certain way, he has returned to it, and someone has ended up upset, whether than be him or his partners in crime.

And this has got me thinking.

While I try to lead him to tell me why I am perhaps chastising, and suggesting alternative play, that I am being too naive in my parenting, and that perhaps I need to consider other methodology.

Because, in spite of knowing that certain behaviour may lead to temporary pain for someone, if it is fun, and might not actually lead to ills, children find it hard to stop, and perhaps being good risk awareness managers is not something we should be constantly asking them to be.

So instead of a repetitive dialogue, I am considering an amnesty of all items that induce behaviour of mass destruction.

I may need a mandate from NATO – Parenting Division. Hans Blix has nowt on my boy.

Anything considered, or possibly resembling a weapon, such as lightsabers, toy guns, shields, cricket bats, may be put into my own Room 101.

In the past I have not deliberately taken things from my son, preferring, and therefore relying on, talking things out, and explaining how things should be, and should not be used. Conversation that may also have involved the naughty step/corner/wall/a raised tone to emphasise how serious I consider things to be.

My theory has always been if I can get him to understand, it is better than simply making bad behaviour impossible, as when it is possible it may be feasted upon.

But that is a theory that may be shot, or doomed to fail.

I am still undecided, wavering, and would welcome any similar experiences and thoughts.