Being the ridiculously observant and acutely aware parent that I am, I have discovered that my son sleepwalks - about a year after he may have actually started doing so.
365 is a reasonable reaction time for me.
Ask my mom, she is still awaiting replies to texts sent in 2005.
And that is not even a joke.
Well, it is, but it is also fact.
My son has long since had night-time saunters, my theory was that he needed the toilet, and instead of opting for his illuminated en-suite – doubling as a night light – he seeks out a relief point that is less evil on his eyes.
I was misguided.
Finding him sometimes confused, I always put that down to the hour, but I did actually consider it could be sleepwalking, but having never experiencing it before, and usually finding him communicative, I was not so sure.
Then one night last week, I put the boy to bed, and a few hours later heard what could have been footsteps upstairs.
Sometimes this noise is followed by a whimpered ‘daddy’. This time there was no such gentle mutter, and as it had been really windy, and thus noisy, I left it a few minutes before I went to check it out.
I know, more kudos to my parenting excellence.
The noises persisted so I went all Scooby-do to find out what was going on, if anything.
My son was stood, clearly confused, in our hallway.
I knelt to talk to him, and offer some reassurance, but I did not get any verbal engagement, yet he did nestle himself onto my thigh and cuddle in.
So, I picked him up, took him to stand at the toilet, at which he performed, then virtually walked back passed me and back into bed.
In the morning he had absolutely no recollection of any of these events, nor did I alert them to him, I did not want to worry him about something that may not be worth concerning himself with.
This is a sure sign of sleepwalking according to
the officially authorised and qualified health professional I contacted Google.
It seems, by default, I have created a safe haven for him, which I found recommended for the night trekkers.
Also my stairs have a really good 80/20 carpet on them, so they should be well protected should he take a tumble.
I am joking.
It is not 80/20 at all.
It would seem, by my exhaustive research, that sleepwalking is another thing to add to the shouldgrowoutof list.
And like the other things on that list, should be confronted if it persists or gets worse.