Thursday, 28 January 2010

Parenting tourettes

I consider myself to be reasonably articulate being, well, no one else is going to are they?

And with that in mind, I have always tried to avoid, and regularly use, age-old parenting catchphrases.


‘I’ll give you something to cry about.’


‘Get out of my sight.’

But I do have to admit to using this one recently;

‘Do I look like I have two pairs of hands?’

I had obviously been pushed to my parenting-motto-subsiding limit, and just beyond.

Oh, and I have started saying;

‘Does that live there?’ at any recently grounded, and abandoned piece of clothing.

Not that any of it resonates, or works of course, and I still favour my ‘are you taking prescribed medication?’ at the very evidence of any daftness.

My son seems to understand the jokey sentiment in my regular poser, yet I find scorn when I say it to other people, and particularly their children, some folks seem rather insistent on sticking to the dumbed-down-donkey-travelled slogans

I am a not a big fan of talking down to a child, or consistently modifying language to suit their current vocabulary, but nor do I exclusively insist on expansive and complicated dialogue between the deemed grown, and still growing, human beings.

Time, will and mood can largely dictate how I engage with my child.

Sometimes I give thorough explanations, then, at others, I have opted for another age-old-favourite; ‘because I said so’. However I prefer on such occasions; ‘I need quick compliance soldier, an explanation with be forthcoming.’


But eventually, I hope, that my boy will also pick up a greater grasp of our fantastic language, and the totally charming, and brilliantly annoying ways it can be so eloquently used.

These are protocols I am sure to regret as he becomes even more irritating than me, but, still, I am stuck with being who I am, but, luckily, not [generally] stuck with the ancient and very tired sayings.

Do you suffer with parenting tourettes, and if so, which variety?