Monday, 22 March 2010

My favourite widowers

I thought I'd compile a list of my favourite fictional widowers, believing that five to be a sound number, that and the fact that all the others I thought of are tossers, like Marlin, Nemo's rather overprotected father, or that pompous twat Jack, of Jack and Sarah.

So here it is, my top five (which includes a spoiler for 24, if that is not a big fat one on its own, score);

5 – Ned Flanders, The Simpsons

I don't actually like Ned very much, nor am I a big fan of his god bothering, scripture quoting, nonsense. But he does provide some comedy gold for Homer Simpson, so at least he is a facilitator of laughter. And his wife happens to be dead. He's in at five.

4 – Daniel, Love Actually

Daniel, played by Liam Neeson - now a real life widower – in Love Actually, is a likeable sort of posh prick. I do like the way he tackles problems with his step son, Sam. A very positive person, who ends up knobbing a Claudia Schiffer look-a-like, played by Claudia Schiffer, for which he gets a high five. And if you'd like to question my sexuality for watching Love Actually several times? Kiss my manicured anus, my long-time unhealthy obsession target, Martine McCutcheon is in it, as is Shannon Elizabeth, and Elisha Cuthbert, my current obsessive favourite.

3 – Jack Bauer, 24

This is the first role played by Kiefer Sutherland that I have actually liked. I need to clarify, I thought he was brilliant in Lost Boys, and as Ace in Stand By Me (one of my favourite films), but those characters were horrible, to me at least. Bauer is a ruthless, infinitely focused bad-ass, caring little for protocol, his own personal protection, and the law in general. At the same time he appears to be as adept at speaking softly to his family as he is decapitating key witnesses within state protection. This is the only thing that doesn't really add up, Bauer wouldn't have a family, who in this sort of gig would have? Oh, apart from that good looking cock in Spooks? But he did, and it yielded Kimberley Bauer, played by the aforementioned Cuthbert, and I have just started watching series two, which appears to be, largely, about Ms Bauers bouncing bosom. So, thanks Jack. For that you're number three.

2 – Carl Fredrickson, UP.

Another widower from the land of make believe that has only just hit my radar. Those lovely monkeys at Disney have just sent me UP on Blu-ray for review, and he, and the film, are a hit as far as I am concerned. The depiction of his married life with his wife, in a musical montage, is a very emotional one for me. Not one I can entirely relate to, but it is beautifully done, I don't want to give too much away if you've not seen the film, but it isn't just happy smiley shit, his married life had some upset and angst, which does add to his character, and make who he sides with as a widower more poignant, plus the geriatric fight scene is very funny.

1 – Darth Vader, Star Wars

Essentially all my movie type lists end with a character from Star Wars, and as I am not a revolutionary, I am not bucking that trend friends. I don't like his first incarnation, Anakin Skywalker is a shit head. Even the little kid is loathsome, his acting is pants, but the character played by Hayden Christensen, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, he is a proper whiney, cocky bastard, and he mutilates kidlings, or whatever the Jedi for children is. But Darth Vader is awesome, while working for the wrong side – a side he is naively tempted to, in a quest to save his doomed wife - he is ruthless, a streak I like, yet, when push comes to shoving the Emperor, he makes the right call, and his final scenes with Luke make the Ewoks almost bearable. He's my number one baby.

But who did I miss?