Thursday, 11 March 2010

I am that retarded

My memory is something of very occasional brilliance, but all too often, a place of whacking great big holes, and lapses.

I do have the capacity to shock with the inane tiny detail. Things I can remember about a person, or a situation, or how something played out.

Like, last week, prompted by putting Trumpton on for my son to watch, I was reminiscing about Spitting Image, and cited the 'Windy Miller, Village Idiot' parody they used to do, to which everyone else around me did not seem to remember. So, I'm thinking I imagined it or got mixed up, it was a long time ago, and while I remember Spitting Image being funny, I was only a child so probably wasn't allowed to watch it all that much.

Then I discovered this.

Now I don't know how accurate it is, it's Wikipedia and I have been unable to find any further reference, or footage. However, if correct, this memory, vivid recollection, was based on a single viewing of a 90 second sketch, in 1988. Twenty two years ago, when I would have been ten or eleven.

But can I remember what day it is?

Fuck me, sometimes I do have to check.

I can go shopping for like five items, with a list of said five items, constantly referring to such list, and checking thinks off as procured, and still be driving home when it dawns on me I have forgotten something from my desired quintet.


On the back of my pantry door I have a wipe board, on which I write things down that I must buy the next time I do a supermarket shop. And for the last six months I have been doing my shopping online, which is ace by they way, no queuing behind twats who stand their motionless, and then seem surprised that the till operator has just asked them to actually pay for the stuff conveyor belted passed their lights-are-on eyes, therein suffering extra, totally unnecessary, waiting while they panic and scuffle around for a method of payment.

I digress.


My point is, I still end up amending my shopping cart three of four times before my shopping actually arrives, as I remember things, or as I actually transpose all the items from my pantry list.

And still, I miss stuff.

I also use my left had as a reminder prompt, I know this is a common trait, people write down times and reminders so things do not become forgotten.

Last Friday, a friend came round to help me set up my new iMac. This was partly in turn for a good deed I have done them earlier in the day. Walking their children home from school, to save them waking their baby from a nap.

I actually walked three kids to theirs, as they had a visitor for tea.

So later, we're sitting at my shiny new baby, and my helper just starts laughing. I naturally assumed it was at my general ineptness with all things Apple Mac, but no, he was amused by the scribble on my hand.

As even though I had taken a call from him only a few moments before I set off to fetch my own son from school, I had made a little note on my hand to remind me of my new little fetch and deliver task, for fear of actually forgetting on my six minute journey there.

Apparently that was funny.

But he found it more hilarious, that I had written all three names down.

At least, this time, I did not forget any of them.