In my ageing far too early into an angry, and crazy old person, I now have a new leisure pursuit.
I tune into the news, and then over the top of virtually every segment I scream things like “NOT NEWS, NOT NEWS AT ALL” And “EXCELLENT REPORTING MY LIFE IS NOW BRIGHTER FOR IT”.
Nobody even has to be here, although it is more fun if someone else is here to be irritated by my irritation.
Thing is, what is news today?
It seems that the news programmes have fallen victim of those damn viewing figures, and thus, are tailored on that basis.
When they actually have an opportunity to offer simple advice, or areas of resource that bare some sort of relationship to the news being ‘featured’ they don’t.
The January snow escapade was a very good example of this shit. Showing footage of a single car struggling to get up a street, with a whole dialogue on how chaotic THE ROADS, yes, THE ROADS, ALL, were.
But, not one jot of information for all these numpties who clearly did not know how to drive on the ice, of how they may better attempt getting from A to B.
Sure I love watching others’ misfortune, some idiot inevitably crashing their car slowly into another, but that is light entertainment not news, NOT NEWS AT ALL.
It seems I am not alone, I was lead to this excellent news satire report via someone on Twitter.
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Check out his hilarious blueprint for a news report.
Then there is one of my favourite television programmes of my totally viewing history, The Day Today, now that is a ‘news programme’ I totally got on board with.