Wednesday, 24 March 2010

You don't need a brain to knock doors

If I was being lazy, I would type that cold calling can't be any fun, but of course, it can be, as can making home deliveries, not for those making them, but for me, the twat trying to make their jobs more difficult, it could almost be listed as a hobby.

I have had some enjoyable ones recently, and one which I think was sometime last year, that still makes me laugh, especially as they still come knocking.

Yes, I'll start my regaling with that one;

THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES

JWs: Hello Sir, we are glad to find you home, and would just like to simply ask you; Do you wonder why there's so much misery in the world?

SN: No.

JWs: Oh. Well, if ever you do, can we leave you with this little booklet, it may hold some of the answers?

SN: Does it have any staples in?

JWs: Pardon?

SN: You know, little metal things, hold the pages together?

JWs: No, it doesn't.

SN: Then yes, feel free, will use it to light my log burner.


THE KITCHEN EQUIPMENT SALESMAN

KES(No not): Hello Sir, is the lady of the house at home?

SN: There is no lady of the house.

KES: Oh, I sell kitchen equipment, and I usually speak to the lady of the house.

SN: There is no lady of the house.

KES: I'll come back later.

SN: Well, can we say a month, at least give me a fighting chance?


THE TESCO DELIVERY DRIVER

TDD: Hello sir, this may seem a silly question, but are you over 18?

SN: *unable to contain my 32 year-old body rattling with laughter*

TDD: Sorry, have I offended you?

SN: Yes, I often laugh when I'm deeply offended.

TDD: Oh, I see, you're not disappointed then?

SN: Only in that you're not a naive 18 year-old girl making the same assumption.

TDD:


THE PARCEL DELIVERY MAN

PDM: *Clearly not reading the 'Mr I. Newbold' addressee well enough* Are you Mr One Newbold?

SN: *Putting on a very convincing Spanish accent* Yes, I am Juan Newbold

PDM: *Clearly unamused* Can you sign HERE?

SN: Yes, but surely you would want me to sign my own name?

PDM: *Still not amused, nor getting my joke* Whatever mate, whatever


How I love being a sarcastic prick.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Share/Save/Bookmark