I am not sure when it started, probably at the very beginning, but over recent months – probably the last six – I have been growing steadily irritated with my blog, Single Parent Dad.
It is probably evident from my post count, that after going from an un-deliberate, but consistent 15 per month, I have dropped off to half that frequency.
And that is not because I have less to write about, fewer incident prompts, no, it is because I have felt very apathetic to the whole thing.
I have really enjoyed writing elsewhere over the same period, so perhaps that has contributed to some of these feelings, and if I had to choose between one or the other at the moment, I would choose ‘other’.
Thus I have considered terminating this blog altogether, or just leaving it stagnant for renewed impetus in the future.
If I was to delete this blog, I would start a new one elsewhere, but instead of it being based on a narrowed part of myself, it would be a personal blog, that I gave myself free range to write about any subject whatsoever.
I have inadvertently thwarted myself here, and not in a gratifying way, more figuratively in this particular case.
Somewhat sleepwalking into becoming a ‘daddy blogger’, but that is not really me, or the whole me anyway. All of my posts have been written with totally sincerity, based on true feelings, emotions, and what has gone on in my everyday life.
In its current guise this blog has very much served the purpose for which it was created, somewhere to write without pressure, and with a fixed topic genre so I did not have to think too hard about subject matter.
My cathartic posts have been very good for me, and to know people have actually read my thoughts, and in certain cases, resonated with them, has left me warmed, and has lifted my mood on occasion.
There has also been some great advice dished out to me, and reassurance of doing the right thing, that I have genuinely been grateful for.
And I have physically met some great people through blogging, and I very much look forward to meeting a few more later this year.
But it is time for a change.
And while I may still blog about being a dad, a widower and parenting, I will no longer limit myself to that.
That is why I have switched on the 18+ warning.
There will be insults here like; grandma rimming monkey feltcher, see you next Tuesday.
And please do not take this as me being considerate, no, this is me eradicating myself of what little conscious I have of making such a change to my blog, and writing, without any warning whatsoever.
But if you are reading this, and linking people to me, who may be expecting a ‘family friendly daddy blogger’ if they did click through, I think you should really be deleting those links.
And with that typed, you may personally wish to consider removing me from your reader if reading vulgarities is not really your colostomy bag.
This also in part explains why I decided to reset who I follow on Twitter recently, but I won’t bore you with the science of that decision, and, in any case, Morgan puts it better than I ever could
be bothered to.
So, I hope to reconnect with some of you, and introduce you to my very good friends; swearing, gross self-loathing and inappropriate ridicule.
Because, seriously, I have suppressed those fuckers long enough.