Thursday, 24 June 2010

Willful abandonment of children

In just over a week I am expecting to be parted from my son for a total of six nights.

I am taking part in an epic charity walk along Hadrian's Wall, and the grandparents have been called up as temporary custodians.

The boy and I spend what I would define as a healthy amount of time apart. He does very much enjoy having his every whim catered for immediately time with his grandparents.

While I enjoy the relative freedom, I do miss him enormously. I try not to tell him so, as while I want him to know I love him unconditionally and value his company above anyone else's, I don't want him to worry about me.

He has occassionally struggled with my absence if it has stretched to more than a night.

And that's one of the reasons I may adopt a 'cruel to be kind' methodology this time.

When we part I have learnt it works better if he leaves me, like he is off on his adventures rather than the other way around. I've had to be more inventive this time, as it is really me off on an adventure, and the boy will remain at home. So I am getting my folks to take him from their own house to mine, as if they are off on an expedition together. And I plan on giving the instructions necessary for looking after him successfully to Max, rather than my folks.

But my master plan is to be more aloof next weekend before I set off for Newcastle.

Originally I thought I should actually spend as much time as possible with him before I depart, but, having reflected, feel that may actually backfire as he could be all 'daddy-daddy-daddy' right before I go, making my actual departure and absence harder for him.

Instead I will be ensuring I will make that 'extra effort' when we reconvene.

Do we all think this a better plan?

For me it will be hard not to have him around for this length of time, and I tend not to contact him directly either, as this in the past has sometimes triggered him missing me.

So I shall be shielding my inner woe by being a complete foot-in-mouth arsehole that will no doubt get on the nerves of my fellow Hadrian's Walkers. Annoying other people makes me feel better. A most enjoyable distraction. For moi anyway.

And after reading another excellent post from MTJAM I am now also concerned to the monster I may come back to.