Thursday, 8 September 2016

Winning at Wedding Anniversary Gifts

First of all, you’re winning if you can remember.

Luckily this year we booked a family holiday - I was reminded with mild frequency - that was to commence on our wedding anniversary.

How could I forget?

I made a note on our airport-parking voucher to be sure.

Well that was the first part done, now the second and infinitely more difficult part, to procure the correct amount of gift and romance.


My wonderful wife has an infinite amount of desirable qualities, but is an absolute pig to get presents for.

She doesn’t like waste, and major waste is a present she isn’t going to use, and while pretending she likes surprises the only real surprise she likes is the one she gets when I’ve actually listened to what she said and have followed instructions.

But none of that stops me going ‘off list’ and getting her something I think she’ll like.  Or at least not return.

What is romance?

Apparently I’m not romantic.  And I agree, I’ve not taken a test but I may actually be anti-romantic.  Shove your flowers and chocolates as far as up your SPA experience as you can.

I’m more a ‘sarcastic post-it note in the cream cracker tub’ kinda guy.

However I have my moments.

It was our second wedding anniversary this year and tradition dictates that the theme for making two orbits of the sun married is cotton.

There’s a list of wedding anniversary themes right up to 100.

So with the theme set, in one of the rare moments I switch from transmit to receive mode, I also managed to recall the wife has been vocalising a desire for a new posh jumper or hoodie.

I made four from two and two.


Airport car parking bus stops are where the real romance happens.

She absolutely loves her Wifey sweatshirt from Malcolm & Gerald.  It’s top quality, and 100% cotton, which fitted the bill for our wedding theme.

But I think they may be even more popular as wedding gifts.

There’s the added quirk that you can personalise yours with a wedding date printed under the rear collar of the jumper.

Cute, but also a great regular subtle reminder for me.  As she’ll be wearing it lots.

And I basically spend my life following her around.

Rocking Malcolm & Gerald on the beach

I will take all the credit for this, though I should really send some to the hard-working Al Ferguson of The Dad Network.  As basically a picture of his lovely wife in the same jumper prompted me to add it to memory.

So I win this year on the wedding anniversary gift front.  Mind, it is only scoring an equaliser.  Wifey bought tickets (paper) to an open-air screening of Stand by Me last July.  I got to drink beer, eat burgers and posh popcorn whilst watching one of my favourite films.  I was trailing badly on the anniversary gift front.

Its honours even, 1 – 1, going into 2017, with all to play for.  However my odds of eventual victory may be higher than of Leicester City celebrating their next Premier League title win on Mars.

However I will be basking in this victory for a few orbits of the sun yet.